Freya (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
aesthetics) wrote2016-05-31 02:48 pm
aesthetics) wrote2016-05-31 02:48 pm
Concerning Lobsters
One of the greatest fallacies of mankind--an outdated term, to be sure, for more than fifty percent of the only surviving species of the genius Homo are, in fact, genetically female, combined with the overwhelming proof that members of said species are not often inherently kind--never the less, is that throughout history they have not given more than a second glance to the lobster.
In ancient times, by Earth standards, they were once formidable and large predators of the prehistoric oceans, in the modern day lobsters are considered more favorably in their application to sushi than to their clout in the grand scheme of things. With their long muscular tails, mismatched claws, and abundance of spiny little legs to scamper about the sea floor, who would suspect anything more?
As it turns out, lobsters are some of the most powerful beings in existence. Or rather, are sentinels of the most powerful beings in existence. With their keen eyesight, they can see across the dimensions into the darkest and oldest depths of the universe to communicate with the Elder Beings through a series of clicks and carefully timed waving of their antennae. Though these motions are hardly heeded by humans or other Earth predators as they are regularly harvested and placed in cramped aquariums in restaurants for our barbaric amusement. Their foresight has resigned them to this fate, knowing that their final messages will make it to the Elder Beings, making them sorts of martyrs for the cause. Cannibalism among lobsters is seen as an act of mercy to rejoin the Great Consciousness.
It should be noted that freshwater lobsters, or often referred to as "crayfish" do not belong to this grouping. They practice the saying "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" and merely mimic the true lobster's appearance. They are dim-witted, but tasty as one might expect. Any antennae twitching that might for ma coherent thought is purely coincidental and should not be taken to heart.
It is because of their connection to the Elder Beings, as well as aesthetics, that lobsters are highly sought after for Those Who See. And as anyone who has ever picked up a book will know, capitalizing certain letters makes them much more important. Unfortunately, a simple Google search would have let any member of this group know that the acronym TWS is also in use by The Wildlife Society, Texas World Speedway, as well as a number of surveillance and weapons systems. For a group that prides themselves on foresight, we call this irony.
Perhaps it shouldn't be too surprising given that Those Who See are not known for technological prowess. Their sight is used primarily in divination and necromancy. And though some spirits are known to update Wikipedia from beyond the grave, it is not yet common practice.
Therefore, lobsters are essential to the craft.
The first step to becoming any sort of reputable necromancer is to thank your shellfish before every meal. Knowing their name beforehand helps too. So please consider what they might be saying to the Elder Beings about you and your children's face pressed up to the glass at the next seafood restaurant you visit.
Crustacean decency never goes out of fashion.
In ancient times, by Earth standards, they were once formidable and large predators of the prehistoric oceans, in the modern day lobsters are considered more favorably in their application to sushi than to their clout in the grand scheme of things. With their long muscular tails, mismatched claws, and abundance of spiny little legs to scamper about the sea floor, who would suspect anything more?
As it turns out, lobsters are some of the most powerful beings in existence. Or rather, are sentinels of the most powerful beings in existence. With their keen eyesight, they can see across the dimensions into the darkest and oldest depths of the universe to communicate with the Elder Beings through a series of clicks and carefully timed waving of their antennae. Though these motions are hardly heeded by humans or other Earth predators as they are regularly harvested and placed in cramped aquariums in restaurants for our barbaric amusement. Their foresight has resigned them to this fate, knowing that their final messages will make it to the Elder Beings, making them sorts of martyrs for the cause. Cannibalism among lobsters is seen as an act of mercy to rejoin the Great Consciousness.
It should be noted that freshwater lobsters, or often referred to as "crayfish" do not belong to this grouping. They practice the saying "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" and merely mimic the true lobster's appearance. They are dim-witted, but tasty as one might expect. Any antennae twitching that might for ma coherent thought is purely coincidental and should not be taken to heart.
It is because of their connection to the Elder Beings, as well as aesthetics, that lobsters are highly sought after for Those Who See. And as anyone who has ever picked up a book will know, capitalizing certain letters makes them much more important. Unfortunately, a simple Google search would have let any member of this group know that the acronym TWS is also in use by The Wildlife Society, Texas World Speedway, as well as a number of surveillance and weapons systems. For a group that prides themselves on foresight, we call this irony.
Perhaps it shouldn't be too surprising given that Those Who See are not known for technological prowess. Their sight is used primarily in divination and necromancy. And though some spirits are known to update Wikipedia from beyond the grave, it is not yet common practice.
Therefore, lobsters are essential to the craft.
The first step to becoming any sort of reputable necromancer is to thank your shellfish before every meal. Knowing their name beforehand helps too. So please consider what they might be saying to the Elder Beings about you and your children's face pressed up to the glass at the next seafood restaurant you visit.
Crustacean decency never goes out of fashion.